"They're boring. They're useless. Everyone hates them. So why can't we stop meetings?" laments an article in the New York Times, "Meet is Murder."
Research suggests organizations spend 15% of their staff time in meetings. For upper level managers, it's 50%! Yet meeting facilitation methods in most organizations are clumsy and out-of-date.
That needs to change. As online meetings become more common, inept facilitation becomes intolerable. Skill at facilitating meetings is even more important in the the digital world than in the face to face world.
Why? To get things done in remote meetings, with people connected only through screens and speakers, facilitators have to provide extraordinarily high levels of guidance and control. Being proactive and assertiveness is paramount. Facilitators must keep participants in multiple locations on the same page, prevent awkward silences and verbal collisions, and guide the group through appropriate and efficient problem-solving and decisionmaking approaches.
And assertiveness is only half the story. Actively creating warm, safe space is essential for online conversations. Lack of physical proximity robs digital interaction of warmth. Facilitators must amp up existing skills and learn new ones to satisfy, at least to some extent, the longing for recognition and connection that makes human beings willing to put in the effort that successful meetings require.Facilitators have to be two things simultaneously - assertive and supportive! That's challenging combination! But fortunately, building the skills required is actually pretty easy. A modest investment of training time in a group of facilitators in your organization can rather quickly upgrade meeting dynamics. The payoffs in improved morale and effectiveness of your team or organization can be huge.
The skills required for online facilitation match the conflict style that the Style Matters conflict style inventory calls Cooperating (or the Thomas Kilmann inventory calls it Collaborating). Ability to use this style is important for leaders in all kinds of settings. But for teams working remotely and meeting on digital devices like phone or video, it’s foundational to success.
The Cooperating style has two key components: Commitment to tasks or goals and commitment to relationships. In the diagram below, you see how this combination differs from other ways of dealing with issues and making decisions. It is the only style with a high commitment both to goals and to relationships (See full slideshow with details here).
That’s an unusual blend. You have to be assertive and push for your goals to meet the first requirement. Yet you have to be attentive, flexible, and considerate to meet the second. Two different kinds of energies!
But it can be done, both in conflict and in meeting facilitation. Below is a real-life clip of a facilitator leading a group through a 7 minute standup meeting. I know nothing about this group, but their “Daily Huddle” demonstrates things worth noticing.
Granted, that meeting has a limited purpose. It’s little more than an information-packed hello to the day, neither a model for decisionmaking, nor, let us hope, a foretaste of all meetings of the future. I feel out-of-breath just watching! But it demonstrates nicely key aspects of Cooperative style facilitation:
– Designated leader, clearly in charge. Facilitating in the Cooperating style requires the facilitator to actively guide and shape the process of interaction. He opens things crisply and guides the group smartly through several phases, backed at point by references to visual support materials. He’s in control of the process (not the content, mind you) the whole time.
– Clear, agreed structure for the meeting. The overall framework is clear and supported by all. Obviously they’ve been doing this for a while and everyone knows what is expected. The facilitator exercises strong, assertive leadership in guiding the group through the familiar framework. No one knows every detail of the agenda of course. Unexpected things happen. But the framework is understood – the facilitator moves things along and the group do their part by keeping things brief.
– Preparation and succinctness. People have prepared, including visual points of reference. They are disciplined in being focused and brief, starting with the facilitator. It ought to be this way in face-to-face meeting, of course, but it has to be this way for digital gatherings to be effective. Achieving focus and brevity requires effort and practice. For a while, facilitators will need to cue people before meetings to be ready and brief. Gradually these disciplines become part of the organization’s culture.
– Responsiveness to others, modeled by the facilitator and mirrored by all. I’m not talking about mere politeness – any jack can grit his teeth and make nice. Notice that the facilitator actually does little talking. He guides the framework but he mainly sets the stage to help others communicate. Even as he moves the meeting firmly through its phases, he gives space for people to talk and shape the interaction.
- Participants actively recognize others, including expressions of appreciation and support. An atmosphere of taking relationships seriously prevails, despite the breathless pace. That doesn’t happen by chance and not overnight. It emerges as the culture of a group, over time and only where there is consistent modeling of it by leaders and support for it by key people scattered through the organization.
Vast amounts of time are wasted in meetings. It’s surprisingly easy to change this, but it doesn’t happen by just lamenting long meetings or setting timers. Meetings have to be led by facilitators skilled at the Cooperating style.
Yes, other styles of leadership are needed too. Directing, Harmonizing, Compromising, even Avoiding – all have their place. But Cooperating, with its unusual combination of assertiveness and supportiveness, is the style that requires thought and practice to master.
A good place to start is building skill in Cooperating in one-on-one personal relationships. Use the Style Matters inventory for that. With that foundation, there are lots of good facilitation guides out there and plenty of facilitation trainers to help learn tools for taking this fundamental awareness into group leadership.
Anyone can drive a group fast through an agenda – just go nazi and forget feelings and relationships. Anyone can help a group lighten up and have fun – just add a few relational components.
But facilitate with high assertiveness in meetings and simultaneously attend to the people involved? That stretch will really make you grow.
