Such patterns may reflect a strong Storm Shift in conflict, a marked change in behavior as stress rises. Stress, anger, or fear trigger a shift in brain functioning, away from rational "upper brain" management, towards control by the instinct-guided "lower brain". This can bring drastic changes in response to conflict.
A Storm Shift is not necessarily bad; it can in fact be good if your automatic responses are skillful and appropriate for the situation triggering them. You want the surgeon who operates on you to react instantly, for example, if your blood pressure drops. You want a quick shift to a different modality, an instant command of the situation, with clear orders to the medical team. No negotiating, no pussyfooting around!
But a big Storm Shift handicaps conflict management and leadership if:
A key goal in conflict style management is self-awareness. This helps us manage ourselves wisely. The Style Matters conflict style inventory gives users two sets of scores for this, one for Calm conditions and one for Storm conditions. In light of what we now know about brain functioning, we must consider conflict style assessments - such as the venerable Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode assessment - that don't factor in the impact of stress as outdated.
This short real life episode on the web vividly illustrates a badly managed Storm Shift. For two minutes two police officers talk with a distressed apartment resident about her neighbor, who she says came to her apartment and hit her. The officers are assertive but calm; they are models of professionalism.
One then goes down the hall and knocks on the door of the neighbor. A sullen voice answers, "Whaddya want?" An elderly man appears in the door, with a pointy object in his hand.
The officers are taken off guard. One swears and kicks the door wide. "Put it down!" he shouts, raising a Taser gun. The resident immediately backs away, turns, and carefully places his weapon on a cabinet. He turns and faces the officers, standing motionless 8-10 feet away.
"Down on the floor!" shouts one. "Get out here!" bellows the other. "No!" yells the man. His voice is belligerent but he stands unthreateningly at a distance as he explains that his neighbor banged his wall.Before the first sentence is finished, the lead officer fires his Taser and the man topples backwards like a falling tree. We learn that he suffered a stroke and heart attack as a consequence.
Insight from conflict styles analysis. In the first encounter, the officers are in Calm mode. They are highly task focused, but respectful. They use an effective blend of the Cooperating and Directing styles at medium-level intensity in a situation that involves distress, but not really a conflict. Well done!
The second encounter begins with sudden threat. This brings the officers instantly into their Storm response, which for both is obviously high-intensity Directing. They are in full fight mode and view the resident as a mortal threat. The elderly citizen puts down his weapon and stands nearly naked, unmoving, at a distance. Nevertheless they taser him.
They don't take in the data of an evolving situation. A few seconds ago when he had a swordlike object in his hand, the danger was real. A hard, tough Directing response may have been necessary then. But now he's put down his weapon. He's eight feet away, clearly visible, upset, but he poses little threat. A Cooperating style would work here. But the officers are locked in to their Storm reaction from that first frightening moment. They persist with their Storm style of angry Directing which keeps emotions high. Without even trying to de-escalate, they taser him. Their poor self-management nearly killed someone.
Not everyone has a drastic storm shift. About a third of people experience little change in their response to conflict, even as heat rises. When these people take the Style Matters assessment, their numbers are similar in Calm and Storm.
A second third experience only a moderate shift, with a score change of 1,2, or 3 in at least one style. And a final third experience a high Storm Shift, which I define as people whose scores shift by 4 or more (the highest possible shift is 7) . These particular police officers belong in that third category. They and their community would benefit greatly if they took Style Matters, became aware of their patterns and reflected on the suggestions below. They wield deadly force. If I were their supervisor, knowing what we see in the video, I would insist that they do this in a series of conversations, either with colleagues or a professional coach or counselor.
Regardless to which group we are in, everyone benefits from understanding the Storm Shift in managing their own responses and making sense of those around us. The following can guide in working on yourself or in coaching others:
All four steps in this sequence would be hugely beneficial to the officers in the video and to anyone who experiences a significant Storm Shift. Those with a small or medium Storm Shift will still benefit from the first two steps.
